With that in mind, here are 11 things we wish guys knew about dating someone who is fresh off a bad romance. So no, you didn't do anything wrong by buying us flowers. We probably won't want to introduce you to our friends because we assume you suck.
We're just wondering if those flowers mean that you fingered a stranger at the movies last weekend. What's the point of introducing this hot, awesome guy to our friends when we've already dated a hot, awesome guy whose name was Andrew and he left us for a woman he claimed he was just friends with? We'll assume your cutesy texts about how much you like us are total B. That means you'll get a sea of "yeah, yeahs" when you try to be nice to us.
SAN DIEGO—Insisting you’ll never be truly happy until you found the superior partner you’re more than entitled to, a little voice in the back of your mind reported Tuesday that you deserve much better than the person you’re dating.
CHARLOTTE, NC—Saying it has already become a fixture in his daily routine, local 27-year-old Greg Weise installed a home pull-up bar to absentmindedly tap while passing through the hallway, sources confirmed Tuesday.
And when something feels eons and eons away from your current reality, it gives you the freedom to envision the most outrageous fantasies about what it will look like.
CORVALLIS, OR—Instantly repulsed by the startling image, local woman Monica Arquette immediately deleted a picture that, above all others ever taken of her, most closely resembled her actual self, sources reported Monday.
CINCINNATI—Stunning observers with the reckless and arrogant overextension of their modest business, local restaurant Angelo’s Pizzeria was making a foolhardy attempt at a second location, sources reported Monday.
Anyone who has been in a seriously crap-filled relationship knows that when you try to date again, it's like being a person without skin going into a room full of glass shards. We will be suspicious when you do super-nice things for us.
You feel super vulnerable and scared, and you act like a weirdo with new guys because you're just super off your game. Not because we don't want to do it sooner, but because our last relationship was with a nightmare monster from the sea, so we're always waiting for the shoe to drop. Especially if our last boyfriend would do super-nice things for us after treating us like crap.