So let’s stop being cynical, start finding some real reasons, and figure out how we can change: It’s easier to change your mind about a “yes” than it is to change your mind about a “no.”We’ve all experienced it: they look you in the eyes and say they like you, say they want to go out again, give you a kiss—but once you’re out of sight, they’re no longer interested. It seems cruel, but in the moment, it seemed crueler to say they were on the fence.
African-Americans are more likely than whites and English-speaking Hispanics to have never been married.
and It’s a very sudden change for someone who had to go to family court four times just to break up with his first girlfriend. I’ve heard all the clichés: we’re selfish, lazy, indecisive, always needing a new source of emotional stimulation, and worried we’ll miss out on the next best thing.
OK, but these explanations make us feel doomed to repeat those same selfish behaviors ad infinitum, continuing to hurt each other and to get hurt until we “settle.” The cynicism of it makes dating unbearable. They worried they would lose you for good if they said no, so they kept the momentum going just to buy some time as they thought it over.
In our sample of internet users, we found that relatively few couples started their relationships online.
Most people who are currently in serious long-term relationships or marriage either met through family and friends or in a work or school setting.